Patience Pays, In All Relationships
We tell ourselves and also others to have patience, especially in crisis but somehow when it comes to the crunch, impatience takes over, panic sets in and the end result is certainly not what we would have ideally liked.
Most people learn the value of patience the hard way, as they go through hardships and experience the adverse outcomes of impatience and haste.
For a few though, patience is part of their temperament and nature. They are calm and collected even in the most challenging situations.
When it especially comes to relationships, patience pays rich dividends. Relationships can be strong and supportive and they can be delicate and fragile as well. Losing your temper, hurting the other person’s feelings, saying spiteful words in a fit of rage (even though you didn’t mean it) … these are all terribly damaging to any relationship. Regretting your words later may be too late to repair the damage.
I am listing here a few relationship tips that will help you avoid distress and agony in your love and marriage relationships, or for that matter, all kinds of relationships. These are universal values that create the foundation of all strong and successful relationships and my advice would be for you to remember them, especially in stressful situations:
1. ‘Ten thoughts before one word’ – Think before you speak rather than doing it the other way around. Most often, we blurt out words we didn’t mean and then start thinking about how they might hurt the other person. Rather than thinking after speaking, think ten times before uttering the words. Remember, words are like arrows – once they shoot out of your quiver, you cannot make them return.
Therefore, choose your words with care. Especially when you find yourself in the middle of an argument or a miscommunication in a love relationship or at the receiving end of a friend or colleague’s complaints or grievances. Do not fly off the handle. If you also start yelling and fuming, you will find yourself slipping further away from a resolution to the conflict.
Take a deep breath, listen to the other person quietly, while thinking hard on what will help resolve the stressful situation. Avoid reacting with anger or animosity. You will find that the other person will appreciate your patience and listen to your words later with more composure and respect. You will not only be able to help the other person see reason, you will also make the foundation of your love or marriage relationship with that person stronger.
2. Control on your temper – Life is not always perfect. Hence, there is no guarantee that everything will always work according to your wishes. There are so many things that take place throughout the day over which you don’t have any control.
Traffic snarls that delay you, files that go missing, a virus attack on your computer or database messing up all your hard work, children crying and causing havoc at home, coming back late from work and finding the house in a mess, dinner getting burnt and so on. Murphy’s Law says, “If anything can go wrong, it will.”
Try to take situations that don’t match up to your liking in stride as essential parts of life. Problems help you appreciate value of good things. Face the problems with calmness and fortitude. If you keep your patience, you will find the solution. If you fret and fume with impatience, the problem will remain as it is or become worse. Panic and anger only complicate things further whereas patience and good sense help you get to the desired result.
3. Be calm when reacting to the other’s mistakes – In any relationship, there may be times when the other person makes a mistake which may cost you dearly. If you go hammer and tongs at the other person, be it a friend or colleague or your spouse or even the special person in your life – you will only end up making that person feel insulted, guilty, nervous and panicked. Place yourself in the other’s shoes and you will realize how painful this experience can be. Such needless bickering can spell doom for a love or marriage relationship. A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains to preserve and protect your bonding.
If you deal with such situations with maturity and patience, you will help the other person realize the gravity of the mistake and also give him/her the confidence to rectify it. Above all, you will earn respect for your calm and wise behavior.
4. Do not fret over small issues – “Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever...” - Isak Dinesen
Stop worrying and getting worked up on small issues. Every love relationship or marriage relationship, or any relationship for that matter, goes through ups and downs. Celebrate the ups and take the downs in stride and do not fret over the small stuff. Your relationships with your loved ones will be more successful, strong and supportive if you stay away from picking arguments and fights over trivial matters.
Always remember you cannot change anyone including your spouse. People change themselves. The best you can do is to enlighten people about the ways to improve themselves and keep your patience until it happens.
And whenever you feel angry and lose control, try to listen to some soothing music or read some inspirational and relationship quotes. Or watch motivational relationship advice videos that help you understand the importance of patience and offer practical love advice on love and relationships.
So next time you are in a stressful situation, stay calm and be patient. Patience pays, really!!